Losing a big deal hurts—especially one you were sure was in the bag. That gut-punch moment can leave even the best sales professionals reeling.
It’s an extremely emotional time for you and your sales manager. When you receive the bad news via a phone call or email, your initial reaction is to strike back and tell your client how foolish they are. They certainly must have missed something in your proposal! Your competition must be lying to them. They are making a big mistake if they proceed with anyone other than you. You can’t wait to give your client a piece of your mind. Maybe even your sales manager is asking you to set up a meeting in an attempt to unhook the deal. The extreme emotions that follow this bad news are all over the map.
But here’s the truth: your reaction in this moment could define the future of the relationship—and your own growth as a salesperson. This is where strategy must replace emotion.
I have been in this situation more times than I would like to admit. The fact of the matter is, the longer you are in sales, the more this will happen. We all want to win every deal, and we all believe we should win every deal. But it is unrealistic to believe that we will have a 100 percent close ratio. So, let’s make sure we make the most of a lost sale. What do I mean by this? How can we make the most of a lost sale?
Please read on.
This particular transaction may be lost, but let’s be smart about learning from the loss. Instead of calling your client and telling them they’re an idiot, let’s take the high road. Call them up and tell them you value the relationship and apologize for not advancing a proposal that met their needs. Ask for a debrief meeting where you, and maybe your sales manager, can understand where your proposal fell short. If possible, ask for a detailed explanation comparing your offer to the winning proposal. In many cases, the client won’t be willing to get into this level of detail, but it is worth asking the question.
What you really want to understand is the primary reason why you lost the business. And the only way you are going to get to the real reason is if you act in a professional manner. Acting out of emotion and attempting to unhook the deal during this debrief session is not a good idea. Getting to the bottom-line reason for the loss should be your primary objective. This information will not only better position you for future business with this account, but it will also provide valuable feedback about how your competition is winning business. You can be sure that this competitor will show up in other accounts you are calling on as well, so why not learn about the perceived competitive advantage? It will benefit you to gain as much of a competitive edge as you can in this debrief session.
Additionally, your client should appreciate your professional approach to not being selected. This, of course, assumes you legitimately want to understand how you can better serve the account by learning from this loss. If done properly, you will enhance the business relationship with your client. It certainly beats the alternative of sabotaging the relationship by acting out of emotion and throwing your client under the bus.
In summary here’s how to handle a lost deal the right way :
- Call, don’t email.Show you care enough to speak directly.
- Acknowledge the loss with grace.Thank them for the opportunity.
- Ask for a debrief.Position it as a chance to learn, not to push back.
- Stay curious.Don’t argue—listen for insights that help you improve.
- Play the long game.Leave the door open for future opportunities.
Losing a deal doesn’t mean losing the relationship—or the war. If you respond with professionalism, curiosity, and grace, you might find that today’s “no” becomes tomorrow’s “yes.”
UNIVERSAL SALES TRUTH #2
Use words carefully — think before responding
Proverbs 12:18
Rash language cuts and maims,
But there is healing in the words of the wise.